A View from the Floor

Ok I get: You didn’t want to be humped in a bar. The guy had the impression it was ok to hump you in a bar. You feel the need to bitch about it. I understand all of the above. What I don’t get: How it went from dancing to humping. What gave him the impression that you’d be ok with being humped in a bar, or “penetrated”. Bitching about it the next day instead of doing something proactively about it right then and there. Here are my thoughts. The average guy, doesn’t arbitrarily start “humping” a random girl in a bar. There has to be SOMETHING... 

...some words from Taylor. Cuz that man can twist my heart and make me cry and wring a smile out of me even when I’m crabby with his words. Hot. The kinda hot where your shoes get soupy, and yer underwear get… Well never mind those. The sting of summer on my skin, like a good friend giving me the business. I was just ten years old. And I was small for my age. I was small but fearless. I mean nothing scared me. I was poking around in the back of a near collapsing garage behind an abandoned house I was hoping it would be cooler in the shade. It wasn’t really but at least the... 

What needs to be understood here, is the fact that from day one, I have done what’s best for my family. Even though what I want, what I decide, what makes me happy is the priority for those in my home, I put the good of my family first. This is what has allowed us the room for her to become that dependent on me. For my rule that she is not allowed to leave to not only be a very real rule, but for it to grow as intended and leave her quite literally unable to leave. I am not a real big fan of mind control. I do not want a mindless automaton who simply yields out of rote. Artificial intelligence... 

A forum post Taylor made the other day… shared here just cuz I liked the way he put it and wanted to save the words. Punching “Yup, you read it right, I said punching. Balled up, clenched up, rock hard fist slammed into the face or flesh of your partner. Punching, the brutal impersonal jab of dominance in a very raw and primitive form. Bruising sent deep, deep into the muscle of her thighs, so deep they take two days to become visible on the skin. A solid blow to the back, heavy on the ribs, pounding the breath from her but leaving no discernible mark, except the one on her mind. That... 

People do BDSM for a lot of reasons.  People do S&m play for a lot of reasons.  The most common one, it seems, for the bottoms is the endorphin rush they get from receiving pain.  The sub space. I’ve said it before but it’s on my mind again so I’ll repeat it. I do not have a clue what sub space is.  I’ve never been there.  I’ve never felt it.  I don’t really believe it exists.  A gazillion people can tell me how it feels and that they’ve felt it and maybe they have but, for me, it’s the Easter Bunny. Not really real. I do not process pain... 

Taylor and I were talking with someone the other day, I don’t remember who, about some part of the dynamic of our relationship.  The gist of the conversation was that he could pretty much do whatever he wants and I, as his, will endure it. This is true.  And yet there is more to it, so much more. I will endure nearly anything.  Not because I have to but because the pain feeds my masochism.  Not even physical pain so much – though that is a large part of who we are.  Emotional pain is the real heart of my inner, deepest, darkest needs.  But also because I belong to him, I gave... 

We went to a play party this weekend at the local play space and, as a result, played. As a result of that, I have wee welts all over my upper back that itch like mad.  Pain I can take but this itching?  Is going to drive me to the nut house.  It is distracting.  Irritating.  And did I mention it’s making me CRAZY? Yes. Well.  It is. Worth it, though.  My masochistic side was well fed, my submissive side has come out of hiding and we’ve had some fanfuckingtastic talks, sex and even more hurty stuff since. I do believe I can stay sane if I look at those things and ignore the itching. *scratch... 

Whoa. I just had a conversation with someone and it made me realize… Some people, when they talk, really have no clue how they sound. If you often have to say “I didn’t mean it like that” or “that’s not what I said/meant” or “what? why are you looking at me like that?”… You are probably in that club. Or? You’re lying. And you meant it. Which means you suck – not only for being mean or whateves but for lying, too!  Read More →

I have no idea what is going on with me lately. Ok, that’s a lie.  I know exactly what it is. Last week, I burned myself on the oven twice.  I bent over to get something out of the oven and the kennel door was open behind me and I got poked in the ass by a pokey part of it. Puncture wound.  I tried to open a box that came in the mail and stabbed myself in the boob. Yesterday, I broke a coffee mug and slit my hand wide open. Accidents, every single one of them, but those of you who have been reading me awhile, who remember when I wrote more than product reviews and fluffy drivel about cleaning...