15 Minutes of Nothingness

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about taking time to just shut down, do nothing, chill, pause.  I don’t do it enough.  Always thinking, always doing, always checking this and finishing that.

I find myself issuing gift cards and scheduling posts and replying to emails for work at one in the morning cuz I’m never “off”.

Today –  hell, this week — was one of those days when I felt like I was going insane.  So much to do, never done, never stopping.

It’s not the job.  It’s me.  I’ve recently gotten hooked on The Tudors and noticed that even when I was watching episode after episode, I was also…  not completely there, not completely watching.  My brain won’t stop, I always have to be doing something doing something doing something.

So today, after dinner, I looked at the computer (which was busy downloading season three from iTunes) and said fuck it.  I minimized iTunes, shut down Twitter and email, closed my browser, logged out of Skype, grabbed my new bath stuff and ran a bath.

I made a double latte.  I grabbed my book.  I lit candles.  I dumped orange/ginger scented foam bath under running water and watched the bubbles fill my tub.  I stripped and didn’t give a shit where my clothes fell.  I turned out the lights and climbed in to the tub and…

Paused.

I never even picked up my book.  I just laid there, eyes closed, letting the scent of my bath stuff re-energize me.  I took fifteen minutes to simply float in a sea of nothingness.  No noise.  No bright light.  No real thoughts.  Just floating.  Chilling.  Sipping latte and really noticing the foam and the taste and the warmth of the mug.

It was absolute relaxation.

By the time I grabbed my pouf and lathered up I was loose and so much less stressed.  Scrubbing felt almost like someone else was doing it.  Isn’t that odd?  Normally, we all wash up so fast, I think.  Dump the gel on the poof, scrub, scrub, scrub, rinse, dry, done.  I didn’t do that.  I took my time, was gentle with myself, leisurely, lingering.  It wasn’t sexy but it was sensual and lazy.

Then I rubbed massage balm from toes to nose in the same slow, caring way.

I love massage balm.  It’s like the consistency of Carmex only when you scoop some onto your fingers, into your hand, it melts into a tiny pool of oil.  Mostly they’re coconut oil based, which is solid at room temperature but melts at body temperature.  Just the action of doing that, scooping out a dab and watching and feeling it melt was sensual.  Rubbing it in slowly, lingering over elbows and hips and ankles and knees, shoulders…

It felt good.  Like a self massage.

The whole process took less than an hour but I came out of the bathroom pink and dewy, soft and….

Gods, I feel good.

And I wrote all this about it because I think we should ALL do that for ourselves soon.  Take that time, indulge ourselves.

All over the web I’ve been watching everyone stress and snark and whine and bitch and hate and…  just be generally miserable.

And I found the cure.

Put down the iPhone, turn off twitter, close your feed reader…

Shut it all down, shut it all off and go be good to yourself for an hour.   You do not have to do that one more thing, take care of this one last item.  Just…  pause.   You’ll thank yourself for it, I promise.