I have been putting off this review for a long time. Two months?  Three?  I can’t remember for sure but it’s been awhile.  I ordered these System Jo bath products — Bath Therapy Shower Gel, Bath Oil and Aroma Mist — with high hopes.  I ended up exceptionally disappointed.

Now maybe I’m spoiled.  I’m rather used to more natural products, more luxurious products, more high end products.  I really enjoy indulging myself when it comes to bath and skin care, lubes and massage stuff.  With the way these are priced, I thought I was doing so.  Instead, I got dollar store quality.

I ordered all three in the lemon scent and that was my first mistake.  I was expecting lemon but what they are is lemon balm.  There is a big difference.  Lemon balm smells a bit lemony but not like lemons.  It’s a green smell, a grassy smell and, in this case, a chemically green, grassy, slightly lemony smell.  I wasn’t happy from the get go.

The Hydrotherapy Body Wash comes in a clear, plastic, 16 oz container with a click up top.  Getting past the unexpected smell, upon use, I found it lathers really, really well.  It cleans the body well.  But it doesn’t stand out as any different than what one could buy anywhere and the scent is very artificial.  It’s more the consistency of cheap hand soap than a shower gel; very thin.  I filled my poof with a good quarter to half dollar sized dollop each time I used it.  As I said, it lathers well and performs okay but simply didn’t turn my crank.

The scent, thankfully, doesn’t linger long on the skin though it does fill the entire bathroom as  you shower or bathe.

Ingredients are purified water, sodium laureth sulphate, sodium hydroxide, coco amino propyl betaine, disodium cocoamphodiactetate, tetra sodium EDTA, lemon balm oil and polysorbate.  Basically the same as any grocery store shower gel.

The Bath Oil was another disappointment.  Same issue with the scent and this time it was made worse by the fact that the ingredients are castor oil, iso propyl myristate, lemon balm oil, methylparaben and propylparaben.  Mmmm.  Castor oil.

It did work well in the tub, I can’t say it didn’t.  It dispersed well in water – though it made the water oddly cloudy – and left my skin feeling soft.  It just doesn’t smell good and I’m really a fan of fruit and nut oils over castor oils and mineral oils.  It’s also very thin and almost seems not like an oil at all, like there is a lot of water in it, even though there isn’t.

You know how oil is oily?  You know how Gatorade has a slick  feeling to it sometimes?  This is less like an oil and more like the weirdness that is Gatorade.

The scent lingers about an hour or two on the skin after use and the softness lasts about as long.  It didn’t not leave me feeling greasy or coated, which is a plus.

This also came in a plastic bottle with a click up top, this one being a four ounce bottle.

Lastly, the Aroma Mist.

I can’t find a single good thing to say about this.

Plastic bottle, thin yet slightly oily liquid, four ounces, screw on pump/spray top like a hairspray bottle.

The scent, on this stuff, was the most chemical of all.  It’s intended to be a room freshener; spray it in the air or on your sheets, curtains, etc to scent the room.  I tried it once and cannot make myself do it again.

The scent is…  lemon balm and rubbing alcohol.  In fact, those are also the ingredients, plus water.  It stinks.  It made my bed stink.  The alcohol scent didn’t at first bother me, since I assumed it would evaporate and fade within minutes.  Unfortunately, the stink stayed.  Even once it’s dry, this smells like chemicals.  Pure, lemon scented chemicals.

On the bright side, the pump worked well and the bottle doesn’t leak.

I think, perhaps, I got old stock.  There is a level line of dark yellow crud along the top inside of my spray bottle, like the oils or something solidified and settled at the top, marking the bottle.  And it looks dark and… well…  old.  Like old perfume in a bottle.  But the scent of all the products just didn’t do it for me.  It was like a lemon scented oil spill.  Even though they state it’s lemon balm oil and I’m not averse to lemon balm — in fact, I LOVE the Intimate Organics stuff with lemon balm in it — it just doesn’t smell “right”.  It’s all off and not pleasant and please forgive these horrible reviews but I can’t find many redeeming qualities in any of the products.

Let me know if I’ve missed answering any questions.  Reviews of the body wash and aroma mist in other scents are favorable so perhaps it’s just the lemon?

Eden Fantasys | Sensual Bath and Body | Sextoys