I have been sitting on this toy for two, three months now.

Well, not literally sitting on it. That would be uncomfortable.  But we’ve had it awhile.

My guy, from the get go, was sort of apathetic about it.  He’s a thruster and he isn’t much for a lot of slow, sensual messing around with his dick.  You know how in porn you’ll see the women licking and lapping at a penis, being all slow and sexy? Yeah, he hates that.  He usually says, “For fuck’s sakes, quit looking pretty for the camera and suck that dick already, would ya?”

So, while the Cobra Libre intrigued me a lot, I wasn’t actually expecting great results or enthusiasm from him over it.  I thought it would be really cool if we found a toy that was enjoyable without a lot of stroking and that felt different and amazing and unlike anything else out there, but I wasn’t expecting him to miraculously change the way he masturbates or processes sensation.  I was hopeful it would be a hit but pretty sure it might also be a flop.

This thing is kind of crazy.  I mean, it’s big and manly, yet small and compact compared to a Fleshlight or other masturbator.  It looks, as another reviewer mentioned, rather like something out of the movie Tron.  Fun Factory even uses the car theme in their advertising.  And when you start it up it rumbles like a burly muscle car!

That’s one thing I have to give it. Vibrations are insanely deep, rumbly and strong.  I need a g-spot vibator with these sort of vibrations!

The Cobra Libre is 5.5″ long by 2.75″ wide by 2.75 inches tall.  It fits a maximum diameter penis of about 1.5″ – so this is a no go for you really girthy guys, though it does have some stretch and may work if you’re comfortable with a pretty tight fit.  Its “vaginal depth” is only 3 inches – the length of my index finger – so it’s not meant for deep insertion.  As you can see in the images above the Cobra Libre focuses primarily on the head of the penis, the first few sensitive inches, not the whole shaft.

Despite its compact size it’s quite heavy – shipping weight is 2 pounds but I’d estimate the actual toy weighs in at just at or just over a pound.

Packaging is typical Fun Factory – a simple, modern looking cardboard box in shades of gray, cream and red for both the toy itself and its included charger.  Charging is “click ‘n’ charge” which means it charges magnetically, no open charging port to allow water in.  The base of the toy has a metal Fun Factory logo on it – the word “Fun” – while the charger is a plastic circle with two metal tabs on one side,the words “Fun Factory” on the other.  Simply click the metal tabs against the metal logo on the toy and it charges.  (Well, that’s assuming you’ve also plugged the other end of the charger into a wall outlet)

A word of warning – the shape of the toy makes it kind of difficult to keep the charger attached.  I suggest standing it on end against something or letting the base of the toy hang off the end of a table, dresser or counter so the charging disk sits properly and stays attached.  If doesn’t you get an interrupted charge which is not good for the battery.

The initial charge takes a LONG time.  Ours took about 14 hours before it showed as being fully charged.  You should charge after each use, however, to be sure you have a fresh charge each time and subsequent charges only take a couple hours.

Ok. So. We have it out of the box and charged.  Let’s move on to how it works.

The Cobra Libre may look like a toy car from the side but, viewed straight on, with the opening facing you – especially in the red and black color combo we got – it looks like a wide open mouth, ready to gobble up your penis. It actually reminds me of the Twizzler mouth.  (Seriously. Google it. You’ll see what I mean.)  The initial opening is pretty wide around – I can insert four fingers into it easily – but it tapers down inside and forms a little ledge that snugly fits the head of the penis.  The entire insertable part is made of soft, stretchy, satin textured silicone.  It’s neither glossy nor matte but somewhere in between.  There is a LOT of drag with this so you want to make sure you use a generous amount of water based lube.  Fun Factory includes a sample of their Toy Fluid in the packaging but any water based will do.  Personally, we liked a thinner water based rather than a thicker – something that gives you a lot of slip but not a lot of gel like goo.

The rest of the toy is made from solid ABS plastic that is slightly matte but still a little slippery.  Male sized hands should have no problem holding on to it but if you plan to use this on your guy and are a female, it may seem a bit large and awkward.

Once you’ve lubed up the toy and your penis – and I’d suggest lubing up well and making sure you have a full hard on.  Trying to insert this thing with a soft penis is both clumsy and can be kind of painful – you simply insert the head fully into the toy, past the wide opening and into the narrower, deepest part.  Depending on the length of your johnson, you’ll be a quarter, a third, a half or maybe even almost fully inside.  For Taylor, depending upon the day, it covered a third to a half of his penis – though it was only truly tight around the head.  It was snug around the rest of the inserted shaft but not tight.

He said even inserting was sort of an odd sensation.  You almost have to force the head of your penis into the small, tight inner chamber and then it just sort of sits there and grips in an unusual way.  Kind of like a giant, bulky, heavy, half length condom.

Ok. So, you’re in there.  Now turn it on.

Ugh.  Wait. This is where it gets confusing.  The touch pad?  It’s a damned cool idea but, jesus, it’s glitchy and picky and awkward to use.

First of all, the way you would naturally hold the toy has your fingers bumping it at inopportune moments and not every touch does what it’s supposed to and it’s just sort of weird.  You should absolutely make sure it and your hands are clean because it doesn’t respond well if your fingers or it are coated with dirt, oil, lubricant or whatever.

There is a three button control pad, though the buttons don’t actually depress, they react to the touch of your fingers.  A long, horizontal touch button is at the bottom of the three (when your penis is inserted and you’re looking at it from that angle) and touching this turns the toy on.  You have to place your finger or thumb in the indentation and hold it there a minute and, when it turns on, it immediately starts to rumble at a very low speed – an idle, if you will, that is insanely quiet.

Above the on/off button are two vertical triangular shaped buttons.  The one on the left is the minus button, the right the plus.

Presses to the plus (right) button ramp up the vibrations gradually thru the fifth press.  It is still virtually silent at this point, absolutely wouldn’t be heard thru a closed door and likely not from under the covers.  I think the sixth press activates the second motor because it becomes even more rumbly and strong though the actual vibration level doesn’t seem to change.  Presses seven and eight increase the vibrations and press nine starts them pulsing from one motor to the next, rather like your penis is surrounded by the pulsations.  It gets a bit louder at this point but not, by any means, loud.

This is where it gets really weird and really hard to control.  Different reviewers have counted different levels – one counted 15, another 20, we counted more than 20 at times.  We also noticed that sometimes the second motor/more intense vibrations started at press 4 instead of 6.  Basically, it’s very random and I do not think this is intentional. I think it’s the touch pad reacting oddly.

None the less, each press changes the pulsations a bit just as you get with insertable vibrators only these are much nicer.  They strum, thrum, ramp, vroom and, on each level, feel a lot like a finely tuned Mopar engine straight out of 1969.  They remind me of burn outs and break stands.

There is a lot of variety and, while it does get louder as it gets stronger, it’s not a loud toy. Much quieter than a Hitachi, for sure.  At any time you can press and hold the on/off button and it’ll take you back to the beginning, to idle mode while another touch and hold will turn it off.

A nice feature of the control pad is its flashing light.  It blinks at you when you have hit the control pad properly so you know, especially if you’re using this on someone else, that you’ve bumped up a level.

A full charge should last you an hour, give or take depending upon which strength of vibration you’re using and you may find you need that long to actually get off with this thing, if you can. (Sorry. There’s that negativity showing again. Gah!)

Between the many, many different levels, patterns, and levels of patterns of vibration and the fact that, depending upon the curvature of your cock, you can flip this over and insert yourself with the control buttons up or down, there are a lot of different sensations you can experience with the Cobra Libre.  According to my guy, it feels good, really good, but he simply cannot get off without stroking.  The control pad also makes it difficult to get things exactly right.  It’s not easy to switch from one pattern or level you liked to another and back again and that’s distracting.  It’s also a bit numbing to the hand – the vibrations are as strong outside the toy as inside and they begin to make you feel like you’re holding a jackhammer.

I think…

I think this thing could be fucking awesome for some guys but was pretty much a flop in our house, which is a shame.  It’s innovative and so completely different I wanted to be pleasantly surprised and have it be the masturbator of the century, the sex toy of all sex toys,  for Taylor but, in reality, he’s happy with a $13 Tenga cup and finds this to have been a waste of money.

The one area I haven’t tested it yet is as a combo to erotic massage and I’m thinking, since we have a romantic weekend getaway planned soon, I’ll try that then.  I think inserting his penis and finding a level he likes, then flipping onto his stomach while I massage his back and butt, will feel good.  IF the buttons don’t get pressed by the sheets.  I shall be sure to let you all know in my follow up if that redeems it at all for us.  :)