Come one, come all, come see the amazing jelly lump!

Otherwise known as the C-Teaser.  Get your tickets to see one now, along with the Snake Girl, a two headed goat and the Bearded Lady!

Oky, it’s not really jelly, it’s TPR (which is just a phthalate free jelly, if you ask me) with an ABS plastic controller and a silver bullet buried inside the thick blob of jelly-looking stuff.  But it may as well be jelly. It looks like jelly and feels like jelly and smells like jelly…

Ugh.

I try, hard, not to be a toy snob.  I try to do lower end toys and my share of lubes, lotions and potions. But I sort of draw the line at jelly/tpr/elastomer stuff that is see thru.  I had a bad reaction to a vibe last year that sort of turned me off.  Plus, it’s just not as dense and solid feeling as opaque materials so vibrations are always buzzy and generally not to my liking.

Unfortunately, I got sent this by the folks at Lustique without knowing it was coming so I have no choice but to review it.

Which meant I had to use it.

Which made my pussy very unhappy.

It’s strong enough, though the vibes are both buzzy and diffused at the same time.  I can’t get any one area to feel pin point enough to actually stimulate my clit and having it cupped over clit and labia was irksome, due to the buzzy-ness.  It made my junk itch.  I don’t want vibes that make me itch when I’m trying to get off.  Hell, I don’t even like massage chairs or foot massagers for the same reason.

So that was strike one.

Strike two was that it feels sticky.  The idea of putting something on or in my pussy that feels sticky just bothers me.  I kept wiping my fingers off like they were sticky, even though the stickiness really doesn’t transfer.  It made me feel dirty.

Ugh.

There I go, sounding snobbish again.  I’m sorry.

The C-Teaster runs on two AA batteries that insert into the remote via a twist off cover.  The remote has two push buttons; an on off button and a button to change vibrations.  Scrolling thru vibrations you have low, medium and high, then seven patterns and pulsations.  All decently strong and probably great for someone who wants diffuse vibrations across their labia and clitoris rather than direct clitoral stimulation.

The TPR scoop covers pretty much my entire vulva so it’s not ideal for use with a partner during sex.

It is waterproof, though water can get inside the TPR sleeve over the bullet, making removal necessary.  Removal is a pain so my recommendation is to not get this overly wet.

Which makes cleaning hard because TPR is fairly porous and you want to wash it good with soap and water so it doesn’t harbor any germs that might give you a UTI or yeast infection next time you use it.  So wash it well with your finger over the area where the cord meets jelly blob and you should be okay.  The remote is water resistant so, in reality, you should be able to take this in the shower if not the tub but that’s your call.

Me?  I’m iffy about it.

That’s pretty much all I have to say about the C-Teaser.  Obviously, it’s not my favorite toy and I’d have a hard time recommending it but if jelly type pussy cuppers are your thing, along with diffuse, buzzy vibrations and a sticky sensations, head on over to Lustique.  They stock the C-teaster in blue and pink and have plenty of other sex toys to choose from, as well.