Comfortably Numb
So I was sitting here, all curled up with some coffee and a book, when it hit me. I’d just posted on Twitter about being old, boring and comfy. And I am. Perhaps too much so.
I don’t have any anxiety or spirit or even much anger these days. I’m just settled and contented and logical and… boring.
I’ve been talking for over a year about how things around here are just normal. And they are.
Not that we don’t do S/m, not that we don’t do D/s. We do. It’s just not the illicit, forbidden fruit it used to be. It’s life. It’s us. It’s fucking normal.
And you know what? I’m pretty much okay with that. I’ve stopped angsting over not getting this and needing that and missing those other things. I’ve just settled into how it is, minus all the unrealistic expectations I used to have.
I’m calm and accepting and…
Boring.
In blocking all the madness I’ve apparently murdered a little something inside myself.
I’m apathetic. And dispassionate. In accepting so much I’ve turned into a blob that no longer wants much of anything.
It sort of sucks to realize, just when you were feeling good and smug about being content and calm and comfy, that you’re a bore.
Perhaps I’m just in a mood tonight and tomorrow I’ll go back to feeling peacefully fulfilled.
Tonight? It’s comfortably numb.
We should form a club.
i can’t wait until i can settle into what it is around here. i am still missing and needing. i sometimes think i always will be. At any rate…thanks for sharing…purchased one of your videos… thanks!!! The connection one sees with you and him is incredible!
hugs
@Sinn… Yeah. Seems like it, eh?
@Martha… I hear ya. Chances are I’ll be back to crazy some day. And thank you! It’s always my rock, that connection. No matter what’s going on, it’s there. Solid and unending.
Carrie, Its funny what we can get used to. I mean your Idea of normal I am sure involves so much more than the average “vanilla” couples idea of normal. They would probably look at your idea of normal and then “Oh My God.” LOL
My worry about things is when we do reach that level of Normal do we continue to seek out stronger things , or more things to give us that feeling of excitement? Or do we settle for our view of normal? There are countless things to try, do , and expirement with, however do some people just do them so they don’t feel normal or boring?
I think getting to a point where what you do is in your mind the norm is a good thing if your happy being there. Normal doesn’t have to mean dull or boring, it just means…well…normal by your standards. Which can still be loads of fun with a bit of tweaking. :)
Will there be alcohol at the club?
And cookies. I want cookies.