Normally, I avoid remote bullets like the plague.  Every single time I’ve tried one they cease functioning very quickly, burn thru batteries like a crackhead on a binge and have very poor remote range, making them fairly useless.

The Couture Collection Bliss, which I received free to review from EdenFantasys, was set up in my mind to fail.  My expectations were rock bottom.

Imagine how shocked I was when it actually performed not only well but admirably on all counts.

The Bliss Bullet is, first of all, part of the Couture Collection from California Exotics.  I’ve been quite pleased, overall, with every single piece I’ve tried from this line so I shouldn’t have been surprised – but I was.  It is not only remote – with an amazing range of 16 feet – but it’s rechargeable, waterproof and pretty darned strong.

Made from velvety, matte, body safe plastic, the bullet measures 2.5 inches long by 1.5 inches wide.  It’s more of an egg than a bullet, truly about the size of a medium to large chicken egg.  The plastic is silky smooth – as smooth as the LELO Lily – on remote, charger and egg alike.  Each piece is a pleasure to touch.

It comes in that traditional Couture Collection box; white cardboard with pictures of the product, descriptive text and splashes of water to indicate that it’s water proof.  The box is kind of large but holds the product and all its pieces securely.

Inside the box is the egg, the charger, a cord to plug it in and a small remote control.

The charging base is heart shaped and fairly small and discreet.  It does say “couture collection” on the side but I don’t think that’s anything anyone would bat an eye over.  It measures around 2″ tall by 3″ long by 2″ wide.  The cord that comes with it is a standard charging cord, like any you’d see for a cell phone or mp3 player.  It plugs into the base of the charger and then into the wall.  When plugged in, a small LED light in the front of the charger lights up red.

The remote is wireless, about 2″ long by 1″ wide by less than .5″ tall.  It uses a single L1028 battery to power it – which I recommend removing when it’s not in use so it doesn’t accidentally get turned on and drain completely – and has a simple on/off button and a power button.  The on/off button, obviously, powers it on and off and can be pressed at any time for quick shut off.  When powered on a small LED flashes green.

The function button has a 7 on it, to indicate its seven functions.  Each press of the function button makes the LED flash and changes the patterns and levels of vibration.  It starts off at a low, slightly buzzy as is typical for plastic toys, buzz.  Second and third presses scroll thru medium and high steady vibrations while the fourth press takes you into patterns.  Patterns are a pulsing escalation that repeats, a steady, continuous pulse, a more rapid pulse and a short, short, short, long pulse that repeats.

The Egg has a retrieval string connected to the top of it – the only flaw, as far as I’m concerned, since it can hold onto bacteria, being very porous – and a press button that turns the product on.  When pressed and held for a few seconds, an LED under the button glows green to let you know it is on.  If left on for a period of time, the bullet will go into standby mode to save battery power.  When pressed and held again the LED glows red to let you know the egg is off.

Charging takes a few hours and gives you a couple hours of play time, depending upon how often it’s being actually used and how often it is in standby.  While charging, the LED in the base glows red, as does the LED in the egg. When charged, the LED in the egg turns green.

Overall, I really like this thing.  The size is moderate and fairly easy to accommodate.  A bit bigger than kegel balls but about the size of an average dildo or vibe.  A small amount of water or silicone based lube makes insertion easy.  Depending upon the strength of your kegel muscles, retention may be either easy or hard.  I managed to keep it in fairly easily though it did want to slide down on occasion.  Definitely wear panties as a back up if you’re using this out and about!

The Egg can be used internally – though it is NOT anal safe – or externally as a clit vibe.  Because there are no wires and the remote has a range of 16 feet you can easily hold this in your hand to control it or hand it off to your partner to tease you with!

For me, the internal vibrations weren’t enough to get me off but they were, absolutely, an amazing tease that kept me ramped up and wanting to fuck RIGHT NOW.  Clitorally it was a bit buzzy for my tastes but absolutely strong enough to get me off.  Strength is about typical of a bullet vibe.

Store with batteries removed from the bullet and clean up with soap and water.  Because it is waterproof, you can take the egg into the bath, shower or pool with you for splish splash fun but don’t take the charger or remote in water!  Clean them with a damp cloth and you should be good to go!

Not my favorite sex toy ever but damned, damned impressive for a remote bullet.  I think we’ll be getting a LOT of use out of this one!