This morning found me screaming, screeching, whining and crying at Taylor about how tired I am of nobody giving a shit about me.

I sounded like a teenage drama queen.

I don’t know if it’s cuz I’m sick and have been varying degrees of sick for two weeks and have been taking care of a sick household for three weeks or if I really feel that way.

Cuz.  Sometimes I do.  Sometimes it really does seem like nobody gives a shit about ME at all.  So long as I fuck and suck and cook and clean on occasion, help with homework, take out the dogs, do the shopping, blah blah blah…  *I* don’t actually matter.

The whole “It’s not about you” thing doesn’t work for me.  Cuz…  yes…  yes, god damn it, sometimes it is.  I am NOT a selfless martyr.  Sometimes it IS about me and sometimes I feel utterly taken for granted and given nothing.

And then tomorrow I’ll be joyful so…  

I’ll just shut the fuck up now.

My chest hurts and my head hurts and I’m feverish and cranky and while I AM pissed off and aggravated and have my feelings hurt it doesn’t really matter in the end because…  tomorrow – or the next day – I WILL be joyful and so complaining about a life I choose and accept is stupid.

Right?

Right. 

I have a review to type later.  For a fan-fucking-tastic waterproof vibe.

I’ll get to it as soon as I…  erm…  have another shower.