Life, love, sex, reviews, bdsm, dirty dishes.
I love Taylor. I love where we are. I love that we’ve been together so long. I love the depth and security and connection, the knowing each other so damned well.
But sometimes…
I get crush envy.
I think I’d like to feel, just for one day, those feelings I felt on our first day again.
Just for one day, though. Maybe one day a year. :)
Submissive, masochistic and mostly monogamous, addicted to coffee, blogging and all things pink.
Confident and insecure in equal but fluctuating measures.
I'm me.
No apologies.
I've been with Taylor for nearly nine years and I'm more because of it, more as an "us" than I could ever imagine as a "me". He is my lover, my best friend, the one who makes me laugh and cry, my dominant, owner, beautifully imperfect and the very best thing that has ever happened to me.
I am not "a sex blogger", "sex positive", "a feminist" or any of the other bandwagon buzzwords words you see out there.
I will not be held to some standard of behavior set by someone who has never walked in my shoes nor looked me in the eye.
I will not be shoved into the wrong sized hole.
This is my personal blog. As such, anything I write here - or in any of my personal spaces - is personal and does not reflect the opinions of my employers, my family or my friends.
I am me.
No. fucking. apologies.
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Would it be ridiculous to simply type “Oh. My. Gods.” over and over as a review? Probably. And yet, when I look at the Intrigue – the P-spot and handle on Eden Fantasys — it’s about all I can think. Just looking at it takes away most of my powers of speech, completely vanishes any [...]
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3 comments to “Crush Envy”
I always start to feel that when I get settled with someone. Don’t really know what to tell you…just that I know what you’re talking about.
I think all of us in long term relationships get that feeling. Everyone misses the honeymoon phase, no matter how much we like being settled. I don’t think we’d be normal if we didn’t.
I think it only becomes a problem when people leave settled, good relationships over and over again to get that feeling with someone new.
Solipsist and I (who’ve been together for over 20 years) went through a bad patch a while back and separated for a few months. It was bloody agony at the time, but as we started to come back together we recaptured those original feelings. It wasn’t quite the same intensity, but it was pretty good.
I wouldn’t recommend going through a trial separation just to regain them, though lol.