My facebook status reads “This being sick thing? It’s starting to suck ass. All week? Seriously? Fuck you, sick.”

That about sums it up.  I’ve had this cold/flu thing for more than a week and today I’m also having stomach bug symptoms.  I won’t share the details.

You’re welcome.

Also?  I’ve decided that it irks the shit out of me when folks have eighteen miles of full posts on the front page of their blog.  Scrolling?  I hate it.

Isn’t that cuntish of me, picking on everyone’s blog?  Sorry.  Feel free to pick on mine in return.  It won’t hurt my feelings.

And?  I got tired of drinking broth and eating crackers so I ate a Hot Pocket.

Bad decision.

Plus? I did five reviews today and may do another one or two.  This is what I do when I’m dying of death and stuck in the bed most of the day.

Don’t ask why I’m starting all my sentences that way, either.  I have no idea.  I are insanely moody and just spitting shit out.

On a good note, the other night, Taylor gave me a full body rub down and it was so fucking nice I nearly died.  Then he made me squirt with his fingers, twice, and I not only squirted but I freaking squirted.  Like, I got distance!

Then I took Theraflu and an Ambien and slept like the dead.

Tonight, though, he’s at a motorcycle show I declined to go to since I feel like I’m dying of death and the kid is gone by his girlfriend’s and I’m dying of death and lonely.  Odd, since usually I’d be thrilled to have the quiet time but I guess when you’re dying of death you want people around?

Only, yanno, if they were here, I’d probably snap their heads off with my churlish tongue.

So best that they aren’t.

And that, I think, is that.  I’m going to make more tea, possibly flop in a bath full of cold and sinus bath salts (kinda like bath salts that smell like they’re made of Halls Mentholyptus!) and just die already.

Well, not really, but you know.