Eureka, Baby!

So I’m cruisin’ around Fetlife, right? (And, whoa, I just realized like most of my ranty posts start that way.  I wonder if Fetlife ever feels used?)

Anyhow.  Yeah.  I’m cruising around, taking a peek cuz it’s been more than a month since I’ve checked in and I’ve got friend requests and messages and while I’m there I may as well check out groups, right?

Well, except that it makes me see cross eyed whenever I do.

“What happens when a slave is sick?”

“Zomg, how do you deal with it when your master is not in the mood?”

“What gives all these new people the right to call themselves master?”

“What do you do when you’re missing your master?”

It’s endless, the questions.  I suppose not all of them are stupid but they feel utterly stupid to me.

My question to them all comes down to a single thing…

Why is the answer to this any different just because you’re M/s or D/s or whatever?

Relationships are different.  Every single one of them, different.  Just because she’s a slave and you’re a slave and I’m a slave and Missy is a slave and John is a slave, doesn’t mean our answers to any of these questions are going to be the same, nor are they very likely to help you.

I mean, fuck’s sakes, for some people, in some relationships, when the slave type is sick, they are expected to get up off their ass and do their normal routine anyway.  And for some people, in some relationships, they get to lounge in bed with a bottle of Nyquil and a box of Puffs for four days.  But you know what?  It’s like that in some vanilla relationships too!  And gay relationships! Even work relationships!

Fuck.  It’s got nothing to do with your dynamic being kinky or power exchange based or what have you.  It’s human nature.  It’s human relationship dynamics.  It’s individuals and how they relate to each other.

It just is.  No matter what you call yourself.

Same with missing someone.  You may knit. I may masturbate myself into a puddle. He may pet his dog.  She may iron sheets.  Whatevs.  Teenage girls everwhere put on their boyfriend’s shirt and sniff it when they have to be apart.  Doing something to make you feel closer to your partner isn’t a market the M/s world has cornered.

And again with the “not in the mood” thing.  Like this doesn’t happen in every relationship the world over?

And the label thing.  Again, it’s everywhere.  Always has been.  Of course people are going to use a term that feels good to them to describe themselves.  Is there a rule book somewhere that says they can’t?  Do you run around telling emo kids they can’t call themselves emo cuz they haven’t been in the lifestyle long enough to really feel emotional?

Gah.

This separation just doesn’t work for me these days.

People are people, man. Relationships are relationships.

So many folks in the BDSM world bitch and moan about not being accepted, blah blah blah.

And yet they hold themselves and their lives and situations and problems and every day issues separate from what is normal, what everyone else goes thru.

Why should anyone accept you as “normal” if you’re acting like you’re not?

I never have any of these problems being accepted.

Could that be because I can just as easily talk to my sugary sweet vanilla mother as my lifestyle friends?  Because I don’t make everything into a lifestyle issue when it’s just a human issue?

Eureka, baby!

Now go out and prosper.  I need to get back to my lovely black coffee with the odd, almost citrus zing and my pure plug.

Related posts:

1. Realism or Romanticism /Ownership or Mastery
2. Just be
3. It’s my Party…