Cruelty:

1. A cruel act; a deliberate infliction of pain and suffering

2 Extreme heartlessness

3 An indifference to suffering

4 brutality, merciless, ruthless, heartless, harsh, mean, pitiless

If I have a fetish, this is it.

Cruelty.

This is what I get off on.

Sublime moments of cruelty and abuse. (And, no, I don’t mean abuse in the social services sort of way. I’m talking pure dictionary definitions here, not the connotations society has put on the word.)

I thrive on those absolute shows of cruelty. Wallow in ruthless brutality. Delight in pitiless indifference to my suffering.

Of course I couldn’t live in that place indefinitely.  I’m a human being, a soft, loving woman. I need love and affection and nurturing and pampering and a secure knowledge that he does give a shit. Most times.

But I also need to know that, sometimes, he really doesn’t.  That it’s not just a game, a kinky persona he puts on for fun, but a true cruel and sadistic lack of “give a shit” for whatever hurt he may be causing.

That’s when I get my groove on.

When I’ve just leaned over and puked from the violence of a face fuck and he doesn’t let that mean I’m done.  When he laughs and pulls me back on to his dick by my hair, the residual vomit mixing with my spit and snot and tears.

When I’m sobbing, crying, finally having gone limp and unable to protect myself and he slaps my face once, twice, ten times more, his own face glowing with malicious satisfaction.

When the ass rape doesn’t turn fun for me halfway thru (as it so often does. :0 ) and he finishes anyway, leaning in not to gently stroke my cheek or dry my tears but to spit on my face before turning away, leaving me a shuddering, hiccuping mess of pain and degradation.

I love – seriously love – the things we can do when we play in public. The whips and floggers we don’t have room for at home. The sensory thrill of those types of pain play.

But I live for the thrill of the cruelty we can indulge in at home.

It brings me to life. Burns me with it’s fire. Brands me with it’s icy disdain. Marks me as what I am more clearly than anything else can do.

I definitely have a fetish for cruelty.