FetLife, Snark and Oreos
So I log in to FetLife today – which I no longer do each and every day cuz I’m flippin’ busy, man – and the first things I see on my front page?
“People who think dog rape is a-ok” and “Another day, another shoot at Kink”.
Wandering over to my groups I found “Is slave a role or a status?” and “Slavery? For real or playing?” and “Who shaves?” and “What are the symptoms of sub drop?”
And I’m like… it’s no fucking wonder I don’t log in much.
Kink dot com ads are taking the place over and every conversation is either inane or repetitive, every question could be answered by doing four point three seconds of research. All it would have taken to push me over the edge is yet another thread titled “Slave vs. Sub”.
I really think I’m getting jaded. Seriously jaded. And at the same time, I’ve had it up to the tip of my nose with constant snark. I like to be snarky as much as the next person – and I indulge my likes often. I enjoy the hell out of some of the snarky stuff my friends come up with. But when I’m surrounded by it it just gets me down. When it’s all there is… it just feels ugly to me.
So I’ve been keeping my jaded ass at home and quietly doing my own thing. I don’t want to feel down or ugly. I don’t want to be one of the jaded old fucks making fun of the new kids. And I don’t want to have to listen to the questions and droning on and on of the new kids, either. Cuz then I get snarky and stressed out and… Really, it’s for the best if I just sit quietly in the corner for a bit.
When my response to just about everything is “What the fuck? It’s not that complicated? Why are you making it so difficult? Does it feel more meaningful to you if you make it hard or question everything? Or are you just that stupid?” it’s really, really better for me to just shut up.
Continued after the cut cuz this is getting to be a bit long for the front page…
And it’s all because I’m still in that sort of contented, this is normal, vanilla life and the rest are meshing just fine state.
Which is rare and wonderful.
Not that vanilla life is perfect. Between work (I’m doing some online PR type stuff for SexIs magazine, for those who haven’t either asked or caught on yet) and trying to keep up the blog and do the toy reviews and write articles I’m contracted to write and keeping up the house (which I’m not doing) I’m feeling sort of frazzled.
Not that any of it is too much. It’s more that I’m a freak about routine (I am not a spur-of-the-moment sort of gal) and my routine is different than it’s been in many years and I’ve not adjusted to it yet. I have a new schedule, new stuff to do and haven’t actually gotten into a routine yet.
And Taylor and That Teen are doing the up-half-the-night-playing-video-games-and-fucking-around-online thing and sleeping half the day (like, it’s NOON and they’re still sleeping. Fuckers) and I’m having to get up at seven thirty every day and, for me, seven thirty is nearly the ass crack of dawn cuz I don’t LIKE morning and I’m feeling sort of resentful.
I’m resentful about being called outside to do something when I’m working, too. Or about being told “I have no clean draws” when I’ve been busy all day, too.
Or, like, when Taylor gets to go out for drinks with a friend but I have to stay home cuz I have to get to bed and get up in the morning. Meh.
I’m trying to find my Zen spot where that stuff doesn’t bother me.
But, yanno, life is good none-the-less and even though it’s not perfection it’s normal and happy and fairly uncomplicated. Which I dig.
And we could have a little more kink and a little more money and a little more lot of stuff but, hell, it’s always like that.
Ebb and flow, ebb and flow and right now it’s all at a nice flow but the flow is so stuffed with everything (cuz how often does everything flow at once?) that it’s sort of a small flow – if that makes sense.
I’ve taken off into babbling about my flow so it’s likely time for me to stop, make some coffee and enjoy the hell out of the rest of my day.
Work is done for the day and, while I have an article and reviews to work on and a house and yard to clean and laundry to do…
It’s the weekend. I have lots of time to do it.
Hope y’all do mad fun stuff this weekend!
p.s. This post really has nothing to do with Oreos. I ate most of a package of them yesterday, however, so they’re on my mind. And in my gut. And padding my hips.