I’m sort of a hoarder.
I mean…
I don’t save “stuff”, I throw away old clothes and furniture, I don’t collect anything…
but I have this tendency to hoard food.
Maybe it’s not hoarding. It’s more like… I pick and nibble.
Say, for example, I go to the store and buy Taylor some Doritos and Colin some Funyuns and Sandi some Tostitos and cheese dip… and I get myself some crackers and cheese.
And the next day Sandi sends me to the store for some Little Debbie snacks and later I get Taylor some more Doritos and Colin some pretzels and myself some other sort of chips…
And the third day…
Everyone else has eaten all their stuff in one day, leaving themselves nothing. But I still have half a bag of chips and two thirds of a box of Triskets and cheese left.
So then I run out and buy Taylor an ice cream bar and Colin some popcorn and Sandi just bought herself a bunch of sweets and whatnot…
and I go to make myself something sweet…
And everyone wants some.
And I’m like…
WTF?
Y’all have had JUST as much snacks and stuff as I have and now, because y’all eat them in a two hour sitting, I have to share MINE, too?
How come y’all get to have yer stuff without sharing but I can’t have anything that’s just mine?
I should pay for the fact that I’m not a cow and don’t eat all my stuff in a day? How is that fair?

I nibble. I pick. I make my snacks last awhile.
I sit down for crackers and cheese and I eat maybe six, eight crackers and some cheese. So the box lasts me all week long.
I buy a bag of candy and I eat one or two pieces a day so the bag lasts nearly a month.
I buy twenty five bagels and I figure, between three of us, they should last a week of breakfasts. I don’t expect to go in the fridge three days later and see most of two bags gone when I haven’t even touched them yet!

I am not the skinniest person in the world. In fact, I’m chubby. But, jesus, how in the hell do people eat an entire bag of Doritos or a box of snack cakes in a single day on a regular basis? (I’ll admit to the occasion binge of a whole bag of kettle chips in a day but that’s exactly what it is… an occasional binge, not a regular occurance)

So…
I guess I am a hoarder. Cuz I’ve taken to keeping things in my room and in my car so that they don’t get eaten up on me.

Not that I mind sharing.
I just don’t feel I should have to share when we’ve all gotten equal portions and I’m the only one with some left after six point seven minutes.

This is the exact reason I don’t normally include snacks in my grocery shopping. Cuz they all get eaten in the first or second day and then we have none for the rest of the week – and generally I haven’t gotten any at all.

I’ve spent $380 on food since January 31 and it’s only February 13th. That doesn’t even include all the trips to the PDQ or Citgo for snacks, the fast food or the donuts.
Is it any wonder we’re all freakin’ fat?

I swear, what I’d love to do, for just one week is put everyone on a damned diet. One egg and a piece of toast for breakfast, an apple for a snack, a bowl of soup and half a sandwich for lunch, a normal sized dinner and a small snack in the evening. If my family got a look at what an ACTUAL portion size is and had to stick with it for a week, maybe they’d realize just how often and how much they over eat.
Nobody needs six boxes of Little Debbies, three bags of candy and a family sized bag of chips with two jars of dip in twelve days.
Nobody needs a family sized bag of Doritos and a quart of chocolate milk to “snack” on while they watch a movie.
Nobody should need a snack an hour after having dinner.

Is it any wonder I hoard? I’m surrounded by people who SCARE me all the time. Lol. I feel like if I don’t tuck a little something away for myself there won’t be anything left at all by the time I want a little something.