Ya know what?

I’mbetterthanyouitis is running rampant.  It’s like the black plague only not deadly, just crippling.  (If you can’t say cripple any more, can you say crippled or crippling?  Can you say lame?  Is it still a handicap parking space? Such an issue.  I mean, crippling also means disables, incapacitates, deprives of strength or efficiency, makes useless or worthless. It has connotations that are utterly different than it’s synonyms.  And yet I don’t mean it in a way that is insulting, like calling a handicapped person a cripple or a developmentally disabled person a retard – though most folks my age who ARE developmentally disabled or have family who are use the word retarded.  It’s all so confusing…)

Anyhow. Back to the point.

I’mbetterthanyouitis.

Today, I hit a point where I literally blinked at my screen in disbelief, shut the browser and just sat there, gaping.

I’m not going to name names or link to sites.  Not because I’m passive aggressive but because I’m not trying to start a fight or point to one particular person.  What gobsmacked me today was – is – just an example of the behavior that’s been running rampant.

Of the I’mbetterthanyouitis.

See…

The “sexblogging” community talks a lot about being positive.  Sex positive. Body positive. Gender positive.  We all have to kind of toe the line.  If you’re not a feminist you’re promoting “the man”, the patriarchy, rape culture and a slew of other really. bad. stuff.

And yet…

It’s totally okay for some of these same people, these uber sex positive people, to make fun of anyone who is not like them.  I’mbetterthanyouitis at it’s worst.

It’s all a lie.

You are not sex positive if you make fun of the toys someone else likes.  You are not sex positive if you make fun of the way someone else masturbates.  You are not sex positive if you turn up your nose at the porn someone else watches.  You are not sex positive if you deride someone for their sexuality choices – and you have NO idea how often I see that happen.  The same folks who are all pro gay, pro trans, pro queer are also completely anti this, that and the other thing.  God forbid you have rape fantasies, practice consensual non consent or live in a male dominated household.  You’ll be boiled in oil by the sex positive mob.

You are not better than someone because of the way you masturbate.  You are not better than anyone because you disliked a toy others found to be cool.  You are not better than everyone just because you found an advertisement triggering.  You are not better than anyone, period.

Here’s a simple fact of life.  We all judge. Every last one of us looks at people, reads posts, sees videos, watches twitter, notices that guy in the grocery store and we make snap judgments.  We have opinions, often based on nothing but how we instinctively feel about something or someone.  We all make fun of people, places and things.

But the fact is we’re not better than those we judge, those we find lacking, those we make fun of.  We’re just different.

You may have a college degree while I don’t.  You may feel that makes you better than me.

I have a job.  You don’t.  Does that make me better than you, then?  Or does it equal out?

Neither.  Because no one is better than anyone else.

And while it may be in our nature to judge – even to make fun, laugh at – people and what they do it’s not appropriate to do so willy nilly.  It doesn’t make you cool.  It doesn’t make you funny.  It doesn’t make you better than.  It just makes you mean.

Keep your judgments to yourself.  Keep your gossip and silly fun poking amongst trusted friends.  They “get” you.  They know when you’re serious, they know what you mean, they probably agree with you.

But, for the love of fuck, refrain from throwing your judgments all over the rest of the world like some sort of fairy dust that should make us happy, make us see things just like you do, make us all just like you.  It’s not going to happen.  And it’s incredibly mean to look down on people just cuz they’re different than you are, in whatever way.

You are not better than anyone.

Stop acting like you are.

Sarcasm, ridicule, out right meanness…

They may fool some people. They may cause some people to think you think you’re great, they may even cause some people to believe you are great themselves.

But many of us? See right thru it.

Only insecure people do that shit.

You are not better than anyone.

We all know it.  And deep down, so do you.

You’ll feel a hell of a lot better if you stop trying to be better and just…  be yourself.  Like yourself – truly like yourself, instead of disliking everyone who is different than you.

And there you have it. The cure for I’mbetterthanyouitis.