Comments on: Just be

By: JonsBabydoll

JonsBabydoll — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 14:23:13 +0000

While I do think there is a difference, there is a difference for me. Just like there is a different difference for person X, Y, and Z. It’s silly to think that my definition of slave/sub is going to be the same as 250,000+ people! When those threads pop up it is one of those things where you have to rub your temples because the headache is already starting. People deem themselves slave who are only online, or only in the bedroom. While that doesn’t fit *my definition*, it fits theirs. Who am I to argue if it works for them? So many people are so quick to shove their own way of working things down other people’s throats. The reason that I’m not in person X, Y, or Z’s relationship, is because it probably wouldn’t work for me. Let what works for you, work for you. Doesn’t matter about labels. Geesh, you would think this kind of stuff is common sense…

By: Laurel

Laurel — Sat, 23 May 2009 20:35:00 +0000

I am immediately demanding FetLife add purple cunt-lipped jabberwocky to the label choices offered. :) Laurel’s last blog post..Evolved Delight Review at Edenfantasys.com

By: Amber

Amber — Thu, 21 May 2009 23:12:50 +0000

yes, well, your "purple cunt lipped jabberwocky" made me spit out my coffee. hehehe... Amber’s last blog post..I Am

By: CarrieAnn

CarrieAnn — Thu, 21 May 2009 17:38:25 +0000

Ok. You made me laugh out loud with that reply, Amber.

Seriously laugh out freaking loud. :)

By: Amber

Amber — Thu, 21 May 2009 17:02:31 +0000

I’ll have you know that there is a HUGE difference between subs and slaves and I know because I have read The Big Book of BDSM several times now and I have a degree at BDSM U in BDSM Philosophy, with BDSM Psychology as my minor, *AND* I have written several books on the topic, in fact, it was *I* who coined the now ubiquitous term, WWASVASD (What Would A Slave Vs. A Sub Do) in my last bestselling novel, “How To Do D/s My Way”, so I’m an authority.

Besides, I said so, that’s why. ;P

I wish you would have commented on that thread with what you wrote above because I agree 1 million percent but I know it’s useless, I used to go there and although I had fun within our little group, the rest of it just drove me nuts. I’m with you, of course, who CARES?

But of course, the ones who care, well, it’s part of their fetish. That’s why they care so much and why all the terms are so hotly debated. Have you noticed that the ones who tend to get the most worked up have the least amount of face-to-face D/s in their lives? The terms are SO important because they don’t have much else to identify themselves with.

We’re like you in that we call each other dominant and sub (if we must) because master and slave is just too wrapped up with online BS and it’s wearying to say the least. I still remember how it was pretty much the other way around back in 2002/2003, there were more sub women doing this kind of thing than slave women, then suddenly it exploded in the other direction as more and more people got into the online thing.

Still don’t see much of a difference and one of my very first posts on my first blog stated that.

Dan owns my ass and that’s that. We’re more interested in the *how* of it than naming it. The doing it, not debating it and what it means or doesn’t mean, oy, that stuff makes my head hurt.

Amber’s last blog post..I Am

By: CarrieAnn

CarrieAnn — Thu, 21 May 2009 16:32:49 +0000

Yup. And it makes no sense to argue or debate what those (or any, really) words mean to folks cuz there’s no winner. It’s all too personal. If you’re not going to change someone’s mind or make them believe you’re right and they’re wrong, why get into all sorts of emotional, crazy arguments over it? Just understand what they mean for themselves and move along with the conversation! Lol

By: Backseat Boohoo

Backseat Boohoo — Thu, 21 May 2009 16:17:35 +0000

I'm a fan of Bakthin and heteroglossia, which essentially says that languages and vernaculars are so layered and complicated and constantly-changing that it's nigh on impossible for us to pin down language outside of a text. And I have my own person theory that we each have our vernacular. Hence, words like "submissive" and "slave" have different meanings, connotations, and connections to different people; and yet, in an attempt to understand each other, we must connect words we know others find similar to make our own connections and continue communication. In other words, people need to stop splitting hairs between words like "submissive," "slave," and "bottom" in the broad-reaching scheme unless they intend to explain how they differentiate the three on a personal level. Backseat Boohoo’s last blog post..Tantus Small Silk

By: CarrieAnn

CarrieAnn — Thu, 21 May 2009 05:48:16 +0000

Thank you :)

By: CarrieAnn

CarrieAnn — Thu, 21 May 2009 05:48:07 +0000

Exactly!

By: Kron

Kron — Thu, 21 May 2009 03:09:34 +0000

Well said. Labels only work where they have meaning. In order to have meaning, they have to be agreed upon. Since the meaning is not agreed upon, the label is useless.