Pretty pretty princess (a rant)
Bunch of hooplah over on FetLife. What’s new, right?
I’m extremely stressed out over the constant slavier-than-thou bullshit I see all over the place.
I’m not a fucking slave, god damn it. I don’t have to behave the way you do, the way the folks in Laura Antoniou’s books do or the way Master Meatmeister said a slave does at the last seminar you went to.
I’m just a girl, submissive in nature when in the presense of those more dominant than I am, who happens to be owned by the man of her dreams.
I belong to him. Our dynamic is our own and doesn’t revolve around protocols or rituals or any of the things M/s or D/s couples are “supposed” to do.
He’s the boss. I ultimately obey. Sometimes I do it well. Sometimes I bitch and scream about it. Regardless, I do what I’m told. The house, our family, our lives, are under his control.
He’s not a manager.
He could very easily control my behavior to the extent that I was always pleasant and cheerful and happily obeying his tiniest whim. I’m wired in a way that, if he wanted to, he could create the perfect little slave in me.
The right blend of pain and domination and attention and ritual and protocol and brainwashing and punishment and whatnot…
He’s not real willing to do that. It’s a lot of work, keeping someone fully in that mindset. Our dynamic isn’t about him having to work at it incessantly. It’s about being the boss, having me follow and obey him and make his life easier. It’s not easier if he’s constantly having to step on my neck.
Without that foot on my neck, though, I’m a lot less submissive. Oooh. Bad me. I’m not a perfect, shining example of ideal slavery and submission.
We don’t much care.
He loves me. I love him. We have a real relationship that revolves around way more than just how we “should” behave or what roles we “should” be playing.
I’ve had a really fucking bad year. I’ve been sick. We’ve been broke. I’m worn out and dragged down and never, ever feel good. I bitch. A lot. I cry. A lot. I call him an asshole and a slob and a fucking dick. A lot. I loathe having to pick up his mess and clean his desk and cook his food and fetch his kool aid some days. I threaten to stab him in the eye.
I am not a good, well behaved submissive.
But I’m obedient. I do what I’m supposed to do. The power remains with him, even when I want to kick him in the dick, put my hands on my hips and say “NO. Do it yourself!” or “Fuck you. I’m not doing that.” or “Suck your own dick”.
Yanno, sometimes I DO say those things. And the power still remains with him because he’ll slap me upside the head, tell me to shut the fuck up and I’ll do it. Whatever it is.
That’s my job. That’s what I do.
Just because we don’t prescribe to some certain way things must be done doesn’t make our relationship less. It doesn’t make me less his, doesn’t make him less the guy I belong to.
It may threaten you and your ways. It may make you feel shocked. It may make you feel superior.
I don’t really care.
I’m me. He’s him. We’re us. We’ve made it thru some tough, shitty times in the years we’ve been together.
This is our eighth.
I’m not going to be told by someone who’s been living with their partner for less than three weeks that I’m a princess.
Seriously. Seriously. Me. A princess.
I’m not going to be told by someone who three months ago was writing an essay about being a single submissive and a month ago was writing about how she needs to keep the faith and believe M/s can be real, that my reality is somehow less “right” than hers.
That the realities of living together and trying to maintain an inbalanced power structure are surprising when it seems so simple to her to obey happily and suffer gladly. Yeah. Three weeks into a relationship it’s very fucking easy. Not that I’m better because I”ve been with Taylor longer but it’s certainly different. Tell me after five or six years how easy things are and maybe I’ll give you a fucking cookie.
I’m not real keen on being told by some broad who’s never been a primary partner in a power exchange relationship that the way I live is laughable.
And I’m really, really not real keen on being told by some butt ass ugly woman that I’m doing it wrong and therefor not real. I guess if I looked like that I’d jump to obey, too. (Yeah, yeah, that was mean and uncalled for. I don’t care at the moment. I may not be slave of the month but at least I don’t look like something out of Monsters Inc.)
Gods. I’m just tired, tired, tired of supposed to’s and have to’s and must do’s. I’m tired of trying to live up to someone else’s ideas of what I should be, of trying to justify the way I live and convince others it’s valid when the only thing they believe is real resembles the fiction they’ve read and the chatrooms they’ve lived in.
I’m not a slave. I’m a shitty submissive. I belong to a guy who is a bipolar asshole. You don’t have to like it, you don’t have to like me, but take your “doing it wrong” and shove it up your ass, ok?
This is the life I live. It’s real. It’s mine. You can have the slaviest award. You are slavier than me.
Now go away. Quit bothering us grown folks.
GAWD I love you! Just wanted to tell you this rant rokcs.
Thank you! Lol. I am very good at bitching. :P
How can you possibly be happy if you aren’t like all the rest of us?
I totally have to agree. I haven’t seen all of the hullabaloo at Fetlife mainly because I lurk a fair amount but don’t get all involved the way that some people do. I have, ya know, a fucking LIFE.
Anyway, your rant was absolutely amazing and I wanted to mention that Sir and I are the same way. We do things OUR way. In fact, Sir rarely reads much of anything about Domination and submission… because he wants to do whatever HIS heart tells him to do. We have our own dynamic and are growing into our relationship in our own way. The competitive crap annoys the hell out of me.
I’ve been with Coyote for 6 years. Can I have a cookie? *bats eyelashes*
Seriously though, a-fucking-men. I know Master and I don’t do everything like a lot of people. We just do our own thing, and I write about it on my blog, and that’s about it. And we’re happy. So the rest of the world can fuck off.
Great rant! *applauds* :D
I would like to be a fly on the wall a few months from now with that couple. Well…okay, maybe not after your description of her, lol. But, yeah. Let them hit the wall, as all real-time, living-together 24/7 couples hit eventually and see what happens then.
It’s one of those flaws in my make up. :)
Thank you! Sometimes, those of us who do it “our way” rather than the “right” way just need to stand up and tell the world that our way is ok and that we’re quite content if they’ll just leave us the hell alone and stop telling us how to fix what isn’t broken, yanno?
Here! Here! The rest of the world can fuck off! :)
No kidding, eh?
Taylor and I went thru a wonderful two years where nothing was an issue, where every service felt good, where every blow job and middle of the night sex was thrilling, where doing his dishes made me smile and sing like freaking cinderella and her mice.
Going into our eighth year? The cat ate the singing mice and all the stuff that used to be new is normal now. And normal isn’t anywhere near as easy and FUN to do.
They’ll learn. Or they’ll split up before they have a chance to. And someday they’ll be the ones going “hahahaha… you’re telling me how it is when you’ve only been together for 18 days? hahahahahahahhaha!”
Cuz that’s how it works, right? :P
OMG thank you! You won’t believe how many times I wanted to tell Master to go jack off or get his own damn drink sometimes, and it only begins there. I submit, sure, but I’m hardly graceful about it. It’s never peaches and cream.
Amen. Amen to that!
Thanks for confirming why I so rarely log into FL. My little one and I understand that it really does simply come down to “what we do works for us”. And your final sentence nicely summs it all up.
HAHA great rant Carrie! OMG I fathom the thought of anyone trying to tell me or the Daddy-Man that what we do and how we live 24/7 is WRONG or not M/s or D/s enough. LMAO I really liked FL when I first went over there, but these days I lurk in some groups and make an occasional post but thats about it. ;) Hope to see ya soon girl!
Well said!
Palus and I don’t always do thinks like some of the “slavier than thou” types do.
But what we do works for us.
I don’t call him ”
Master” for example – he may be my Master, but I never, ever call him that because it makes him feel silly. But that doesn’t mean that he isn’t my Master.
It doesn’t mean that I am less worthy than them or that our relationship is any less real though. It just means that we are who we are.
Amen!
(Did it work this time??)
I just got an application from someone to be my slave. I’m… confused. It’s gotta be a joke… right? Like a “You’re a pretend slave.” type thing… Right?? Heh.
CarrieAnn,
I’m gone for a bloody weekend and miss everything!! I hate it when threads with a lot of infighting get deleted, lol, the drama-princess-lover that I am! Note I did not say that *I* am a princess.
But dang, everyone who’s anyone is talking about this and I missed it!
OH well, and it’s all about me, right?! LMFAO!
Sweet rant. FetLife is a constant source of headdesk and asshat. Gotta love that…NOT!
Doesn’t it, though? And it’s not even an age thing. ;)
How’s things going, anyhow!!!???!!!! Settling in?
I’ve decided most of them are lying, anyhow.
No one is *that* good. Yanno?
It worked. If you get a slave, can I have one too? I need a floor washer…
Hah! You didn’t miss all that much. Lol. We nipped it in the bud!
grins… FOUR star rant there, GIRL!! you GO! and a timely reminder of WHY I stay away from Fet …
oh, and if they’re handing out slaves i want one please …. but not one of them online ones, those damn toiliets are NOT going to clean themselves and last I looked you can’t reach through the monitor and use the scrubby brush!
Oh he swears he’s all about rl. lol. Master said no, though! Boo.