Comments on: Rambling in the wee hours http://viewfromthefloor.com/rambling-in-the-wee-hours/ Lots of dust bunnies and sneezing Tue, 15 May 2012 20:57:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Carrie Ann http://viewfromthefloor.com/rambling-in-the-wee-hours/comment-page-1/#comment-744 Carrie Ann Fri, 30 Jan 2009 08:32:13 +0000 http://aviewfromthefloor.sensualwriter.com/2009/01/28/rambling-in-the-wee-hours/#comment-744 Hateful comments on kaya's blog? Must have been to someone other than kaya since she's one of my favorite people. Yanno, the fact of the matter is we're all hateful sometimes. We get mad, say mean things. It happens. And I have no issue with it happening on occasion. My post doesn't mean I'm never going to say anything someone else considers "hateful" again. It means I'm going to try to not respond that way just because I don't know someone well or just because I can. I absolutely won't temper or censor myself on my own blog. I'm sorry you stopped reading but I'd also advise you not to get your expectations up too high. I"m an opinionated, blunt sort of person and a lot of my intensity comes from that. Even if I put every effort into being nicer on web forums and whanot my blog will remain my place to let loose if I need to. I won't censor myself to pacify readers because I've never, ever written for anyone but me. I was just as happy when I had ten readers a day as I am with five hundred. :) Hateful comments on kaya’s blog? Must have been to someone other than kaya since she’s one of my favorite people.

Yanno, the fact of the matter is we’re all hateful sometimes. We get mad, say mean things. It happens. And I have no issue with it happening on occasion.

My post doesn’t mean I’m never going to say anything someone else considers “hateful” again. It means I’m going to try to not respond that way just because I don’t know someone well or just because I can.

I absolutely won’t temper or censor myself on my own blog.

I’m sorry you stopped reading but I’d also advise you not to get your expectations up too high. I”m an opinionated, blunt sort of person and a lot of my intensity comes from that.

Even if I put every effort into being nicer on web forums and whanot my blog will remain my place to let loose if I need to. I won’t censor myself to pacify readers because I’ve never, ever written for anyone but me.

I was just as happy when I had ten readers a day as I am with five hundred. :)

]]> By: none http://viewfromthefloor.com/rambling-in-the-wee-hours/comment-page-1/#comment-743 none Fri, 30 Jan 2009 07:39:34 +0000 http://aviewfromthefloor.sensualwriter.com/2009/01/28/rambling-in-the-wee-hours/#comment-743 interesting post. i only came to your blog tonight as i saw the symbian title on another blog. the first time i read you, very long ago, i was blown away by the intensity of your writing. i was impressed and wanted to read more. but later you wrote very hateful comments on kaya's blog and i have never read you since, or understood why anyone else would. i am glad you are rethinking this topic. best wishes. interesting post. i only came to your blog tonight as i saw the symbian title on another blog. the first time i read you, very long ago, i was blown away by the intensity of your writing. i was impressed and wanted to read more. but later you wrote very hateful comments on kaya’s blog and i have never read you since, or understood why anyone else would. i am glad you are rethinking this topic. best wishes.

]]> By: Devlyn http://viewfromthefloor.com/rambling-in-the-wee-hours/comment-page-1/#comment-742 Devlyn Thu, 29 Jan 2009 15:26:15 +0000 http://aviewfromthefloor.sensualwriter.com/2009/01/28/rambling-in-the-wee-hours/#comment-742 It's a tough habit to break so I wish you luck. While I can be as snarky and caustic as anyone else, I found that I don't learn a thing if I'm tooting my own horn and proving how smart and mean I can be all the time. And it bring all that negative energy into the rest of your life, too. A lot of folks think it's like venting, that you do this stuff to relieve stress and then it's gone. Instead, it seems to grow and spread into the rest of your life. So now, I try to avoid negativity both coming out of my mouth, or being around people who are negative. It's better for me. That doesn't mean I'm miss molly sunshine all the time. I just try to remember to be compassionate and thoughtful while also being honest. Another thought about negativity is that it's a defense response. I've used it to protect myself, especially when dealing with strangers and/or an unfamiliar environment, especially places like forums where there's always people waiting for any appearance of weakness to jump on. Mean people can also appear to newbs as authorities on a subject, crushing all other dissenting opinions. It can be amusing to watch because it causes a lot of drama from other strong personalities. In the end, though, it often succeeds in crushing the conversation to a point where no one is learning or enjoying it. Good for you for recognizing that this is an issue for you. I think that's often the hardest step in making changes and personal growth. It’s a tough habit to break so I wish you luck. While I can be as snarky and caustic as anyone else, I found that I don’t learn a thing if I’m tooting my own horn and proving how smart and mean I can be all the time. And it bring all that negative energy into the rest of your life, too. A lot of folks think it’s like venting, that you do this stuff to relieve stress and then it’s gone. Instead, it seems to grow and spread into the rest of your life.

So now, I try to avoid negativity both coming out of my mouth, or being around people who are negative. It’s better for me. That doesn’t mean I’m miss molly sunshine all the time. I just try to remember to be compassionate and thoughtful while also being honest.

Another thought about negativity is that it’s a defense response. I’ve used it to protect myself, especially when dealing with strangers and/or an unfamiliar environment, especially places like forums where there’s always people waiting for any appearance of weakness to jump on.

Mean people can also appear to newbs as authorities on a subject, crushing all other dissenting opinions. It can be amusing to watch because it causes a lot of drama from other strong personalities. In the end, though, it often succeeds in crushing the conversation to a point where no one is learning or enjoying it.

Good for you for recognizing that this is an issue for you. I think that’s often the hardest step in making changes and personal growth.

]]> By: Carrie Ann http://viewfromthefloor.com/rambling-in-the-wee-hours/comment-page-1/#comment-741 Carrie Ann Wed, 28 Jan 2009 18:15:53 +0000 http://aviewfromthefloor.sensualwriter.com/2009/01/28/rambling-in-the-wee-hours/#comment-741 morningstar... I hear ya. I really do. But when I stay away from the forums I get bored and understimulated. We have scads of lifestyle friends but none of them are quite... like us. So sometimes it's easier to talk to folks who are, even though they're online. Like you, when I get to quiet, I become quite wispy. I hope I can find that balance or I'm REALLY gonna start disliking myself! Chloe... Thank you! I'm glad you found something of use in my late night babbling. Here's wishing us both luck. By the way... I loved that you said "cleaner". That's really it, isn't it? morningstar…

I hear ya. I really do. But when I stay away from the forums I get bored and understimulated. We have scads of lifestyle friends but none of them are quite… like us. So sometimes it’s easier to talk to folks who are, even though they’re online.

Like you, when I get to quiet, I become quite wispy.

I hope I can find that balance or I’m REALLY gonna start disliking myself!

Chloe…

Thank you! I’m glad you found something of use in my late night babbling. Here’s wishing us both luck.

By the way… I loved that you said “cleaner”. That’s really it, isn’t it?

]]> By: Chloe http://viewfromthefloor.com/rambling-in-the-wee-hours/comment-page-1/#comment-740 Chloe Wed, 28 Jan 2009 15:46:42 +0000 http://aviewfromthefloor.sensualwriter.com/2009/01/28/rambling-in-the-wee-hours/#comment-740 What a beautiful post! It's one I should take to heart. Master says I have a streak of (what he calls) "casual cruelty." I have used it online, in forums and chat rooms (granted, they are not BDSM related, but still...) perhaps more than anywhere else. But just because I'm able to chop someone down with words doesn't mean I should. Ability isn't an excuse for action. You're right on about a hundred counts in here, so I won't go through them all... But thank you so much for this. It's a mentality I KNOW will make me feel better, cleaner, and happier for following. ~Chloe What a beautiful post! It’s one I should take to heart. Master says I have a streak of (what he calls) “casual cruelty.” I have used it online, in forums and chat rooms (granted, they are not BDSM related, but still…) perhaps more than anywhere else. But just because I’m able to chop someone down with words doesn’t mean I should.

Ability isn’t an excuse for action.

You’re right on about a hundred counts in here, so I won’t go through them all… But thank you so much for this. It’s a mentality I KNOW will make me feel better, cleaner, and happier for following.

~Chloe

]]> By: morningstar http://viewfromthefloor.com/rambling-in-the-wee-hours/comment-page-1/#comment-739 morningstar Wed, 28 Jan 2009 10:33:31 +0000 http://aviewfromthefloor.sensualwriter.com/2009/01/28/rambling-in-the-wee-hours/#comment-739 Carrie.. been there done that got the Tshirt and threw it away... i have come to see the "boards/discussion groups" as a no fly zone for me.. they get me riled up.. ruin my calm, zen like mood (are you choking?? cheeky grin) and leave me feeling drained.. anxious... and stressed. i tried following my mother's advice "Don't put yourself on their level" but that didn't work..... So... i don't go to the Boards and i don't read .. and i don't comment........ most of the time... i am getting so good at this "walking away" that even on blogs i am moderating what i have to say.. or not saying anything at all... Of course i am turning into a ghost.. a wisp of my former chatty self....... Hopefully one of these days i will find the middle road approach...... not too opinionated and not too quiet... one day... morningstar (owned by Warren) Carrie..

been there done that got the Tshirt and threw it away…

i have come to see the “boards/discussion groups” as a no fly zone for me.. they get me riled up.. ruin my calm, zen like mood (are you choking?? cheeky grin) and leave me feeling drained.. anxious… and stressed.

i tried following my mother’s advice “Don’t put yourself on their level” but that didn’t work…..

So…

i don’t go to the Boards and i don’t read .. and i don’t comment…….. most of the time…

i am getting so good at this “walking away” that even on blogs i am moderating what i have to say.. or not saying anything at all…

Of course i am turning into a ghost.. a wisp of my former chatty self…….

Hopefully one of these days i will find the middle road approach…… not too opinionated and not too quiet… one day…

morningstar (owned by Warren)

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