Randy

Randy.  Randy, Randy, Randy.

I don’t even know what to say when it comes to Randy.  The only thing that comes to mind, every time I think about Randy, is…   fucking ginormous.

Now I’m not going to lie; I’m a 40 year old woman who had a vaginal delivery of a nearly nine pound baby and a slightly more than fair share of sexual partners.  I exercise my kegels but I don’t have the pussy of an 18 year old virgin, obviously.  I’m quite fond of girthy toys – and girthy dicks!

But the Randy is honestly on the verge of more than I can comfortably take or even want most times.

Randy is a monster, as thick around as my wrist – and I’m fluffy and big boned, I have big wrists.  He’s 6.5 inches long but looks shorter due to the fact that he’s also wider than he is long.  I’m not kidding.  Randy has a 6.75 inch circumference, an over 2 inch diameter.  He’s huge.  Enormous.  Very fucking big.

Using Randy, for me, is a rare treat for times when I really want to challenge myself.

It’s not that it’s painful to get him in; it’s really not.  A bit uncomfortable, but not painful.  It’s just that when I use him, unless I’m in a very particular mood, I feel over stuffed.  It’s overwhelming.  And, honestly, Randy makes me feel like I need to get him out as soon as possible.  My body reacts by trying to expel him.

That being said, let’s get down to the basics, hmmm?

Randy is silicone — a lovely, swirly, purple silicone with shimmering blue swirls and an opalescence that makes him change hues depending on how you turn him in the light.  His silicone is firm, not at all floppy though it does have some squeezability to it.  He is curved, jauntily thrusting his oversized and pronounced head out in a cocky little strut.  Beneath his head, on the shaft, is a bulge that looks muscular and firm.  His shaft is smooth, ending in a large flared base that makes him excellent for harness use if you have a harness that can accommodate him and safe for anal use if you dare to try it.  He’s a realistic dildo, very much shaped like a giant penis, yet not overly detailed; he has no veins and is…  ahem…  purple.

Because the silicone is glossy, a bit of water based lube makes him slippery and slick.  Due to his immense girth, I tend to use quite a bit of lube and he does thrust easily once he’s in, with no real friction, but he also slides out just as easily.  Between that and the urge of my pussy to force him out, this is not the kind of dildo I can insert and keep in; I have to hold him in with my hand or actively thrust.

Randy can be sanitized using a mild bleach solution or by boiling for a few minutes if you want him super clean — or just given a bath in warm soapy water if a normal wash is all that’s required.  (ie. you’re not using him with partners or for anal play)

Like most silicone, he does pick up lint and hair and dust so be sure to give him a rinse before you use him unless you want that lint and dust and hair in your orifice of choice.

All in all, I’m glad I got the Vixen Randy.  He’s impressive.  He’s beautiful.  He’s a quality sex toy — as are all Vixen products —  and a size queen’s dream.

But mostly, he sits in a drawer, strutting his stuff, lording over all the smaller dildos and then sulking when he doesn’t get used as often as he’d like.

Randy, for me, is a treat, not the main meal.

Eden Fantasys does stock the vixskin Randy as well as the silicone one.  Mine is the regular silicone, the vixskin is softer, plusher, a realistic exterior with a firm inner core and may, because of that squishiness, be easier to take and use.  I may, in fact, get one just to compare.  If you’re keen on Randy, the silicone one is the lovely purple, the vixskin comes in a choice of flesh tones.  Choose well!

$61.99Randy silicone Dildo by Vixen Creations Material: Silicone Safety: Buy from EdenFantasys