I try, pretty hard, to find the good in every sex toy I review.  I try, really, really hard, not to be snarky about things.  I try, really, really, really hard not to be a material or price snob.

And so I ordered the Silicone Mini Osciallator, figuring it deserved a shot.  After all, it could be as good as the Eroscillator, right?

Oh boy.

I really have…

I have no words for this one, guys.

It may be the worst toy I’ve ever tried.

Let’s start out with the basics.

The Silicone Mini Oscillator is a small, wand style oscillating vibrator.  Oscillations are a different sort of vibration than tradition vibrations as they move in a back and forth motion rather than the standard motor that moves in circles with a weight attached to it to cause rapid vibrations.

Doesn’t make sense to you?  No worries.  Oscillations are supposed to feel like a finger or tongue moving rapidly back and forth over your clit, be less numbing and provide deeper orgasms.  In the case of high quality toys like the Eroscillator or the Better Sex Synergy system, they do.  This one?  Not so much.

The wand itself is plastic with a push button on the bottom to power it on and off and scroll thru the two speeds.  It’s fairly easy to clean by simply wiping it down with a damp rag or a mild bleach solution.  It runs on 3 AAA batteries that slide into the wand via a compartment on the bottom.  It measures 8 inches long and less than 2 inches around so it’s fairly long and slender.  It is purple and not waterproof.

It comes with multiple heads that attach to the wand easily; just snap them onto the nub on the head and you’re good to go.  The heads are not 100% silicone but are, rather, TPR silicone. This means they are not sanitizable but can be washed with soap and water in the sink.  Each is fairly soft and flexible, slightly squishy and highly textured.

Use only water based lube with this one since it is a silicone blend.  Store with the batteries removed and away from lint and hair, as it picks them up easily.  Rinse the attachments before use.

Each attachment is fairly small – about the size of a bullet vibe.  An inch or two long, less than a half inch wide, depending on the attachment.

Ok. That’s the basics, right?  I pretty much covered all the “must have” info?

Good.  Let’s move on to how it works and feels.

Oh. Wait. This is where I lose my words.

See, with the Eros or the BSSS you turn them on and you can see the heads oscillating but they don’t actually wriggle back and forth, don’t actually twist on the wand.

This one?  Fuckin’ A.  It’s like a mini oscillating fan.  With the heavy texture on the heads, it feels like a torture device, like someone whipping your clit with a miniature mace.  It’s ridiculous.  And then, on top of that, despite it being quite strong and VERY loud, as soon as you apply any pressure it stops.

Brrrp.

The attachments are supposed to be full of nubs and ticklers for your pleasure but, between the crazy swinging back and forth and the inability to press them against yourself, they really just feel like torment.

Here, look for yourself.

See? Insanity.

In reality, I have a very sensitive clit and my clitoral hood does not cover the top of my clit.  It’s pretty much always exposed. (Which is why I cannot get a hood piercing. Boo!)  This was simply too much movement for me, too much texture and too much…  well…  too much.

Those who are less sensitive may actually really like it.

And?  It does actually feel kind of good on nipples.

See ?  I told you I always find a redeeming feature!

I wish I could tell you more, find some good words for this toy but I simply cannot tolerate it on my clit and it’s too noisy to really want to use anywhere else.  Many think it will be a good, lesser cost replacement for the Eroscillator but, truly, its not. Don’t waste the money unless the crazy twisting appeals to you.  Save. Get an Eros.