So yeah, it’s “your body”. But are you sending a different message?
- You didn’t want to be humped in a bar.
- The guy had the impression it was ok to hump you in a bar.
- You feel the need to bitch about it.
I understand all of the above.
What I don’t get:
- How it went from dancing to humping.
- What gave him the impression that you’d be ok with being humped in a bar, or “penetrated”.
- Bitching about it the next day instead of doing something proactively about it right then and there.
Here are my thoughts. The average guy, doesn’t arbitrarily start “humping” a random girl in a bar. There has to be SOMETHING that gives him the impression that she would be receptive to it. Whether intentional or not she has to do something to encourage him. Frankly most men are too chicken shit to do anything without some level of encouragement.
Now in no way am I trying to say or imply that you willfully invited the “humping” Just pointing out that there may be something you are overlooking. Some element of your own behavior that invited this bit of intrusion. Am I trying to place you at fault for his mis-behavior? Hell no.
But I am saying that in any given situation involving two people regardless of their gender there are two distinctly different perspectives.
What I’m getting at, is maybe it’s time to take a good long look at your own behavior. Because if your body is being groped, used, assaulted, grabbed, handled or otherwise touched without your permission as often as you say, it would seem that you are doing something to provoke it. Again, this may or may not be something you’re aware of.
But the average person doesn’t get touched on a daily basis, the average person doesn’t encounter rape and near rape all the damn time.
Sure a person should be able to wear what they want, go where they want, say and do what they want without being treated like a hunk of meat on a deli counter.
No woman deserves to be treated like a whore, however is she happens to be wearing the uniform….she shouldn’t be surprised when she gets treated like one.
Ya know, I’m not a doctor. I don’t heal the sick, but if I went around dressed up like one and hanging around in a hospital I’d have to expect sick people to ask me to make them feel better.
Folks need to take personal responsibility for their own actions. Again, no woman deserves to be treated like a whore. No man has the right to assume he can touch her. And if we are being honest, the majority of men do not make that assumption.
Many years ago, I was the victim of a dime store grade mugging. I walked through an alley and by the time I came out the other end, my wallet was gone and my eye was bleeding. Did I have a mug me sign on my forehead? Nope. Did I ask to get mugged? Nope. Did I tell that guy it was ok to mug me? Nope. But I sure as fuck made a target of myself. Has it happened since? Nope. I learned from it. Do I still walk through alleys? You bet your ass. However, I don’t carry myself in such a way that makes me look like an easy mark. In fact just my presence alone makes a lot of people damned nervous.
There are always going to be consequences to every action, right or wrong. One’s actions invariably set the tone for their treatment. So to put it bluntly; if you dress, talk, and behave like a promiscuous devalued twit, you’re sure to get some low life to hump you in a bar.
Constant complaints about inappropriate contact, make me think one of two things is going on, the person doing the bitching is either lying for attention, or doing something to promote it. Because if every person who cried rape, who cried grope, actuallywas groped, or raped or humped or what ever…men would NEVER accomplish a damn thing, we’d all be far too busy accosting women.
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