Spirograph

“If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don’t be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning ‘Good morning’ at total strangers.”
~Maya Angelou

What a quote, eh?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Probably because Taylor and I work together so we, literally, spend 98.2 percent of our time together. In the past two weeks I think we’ve spent perhaps 8 hours apart.
We work together, eat together, sleep together, spend countless hours in the car together dealing with traffic and idiot drivers….

And we tend to get a little testy with each other at times; tend to take our frustrations out on each other or allow each other to become the frustrations. We can’t snarl and growl and snap at our customers so we do it to each other. We can’t tell Mr. I-Locked-My-Keys-In-The-Car to bugger himself with a spiked bowling pin when he decides it’s to his advantage to go in and eat McDonalds instead of staying with his car so we can help him and move on to the next call. We have to patiently call him three or four times and even more patiently wait for him to get there while seven other customers are calling us, yelling and wanting to know where we are. So instead of calling him a brainless fucktard…

We pick on each other.

Taylor will go off the deep end cuz I made a mistake reading the map.
I’ll have a hissy fit over him missing a turn or not hearing me the first time I say something. (Like “turn left at the light, Honey”)
We snarl and snap and wear each other out with our aggravation at other people, the world and the crappy schedule we have to keep. We treat each other like crap cuz we’re hungry and have to piss but don’t have time to stop.

And it sucks. Cuz we have to get out of the truck and be kind to customers, have to smile for nitwits, feel compelled to be nice to even the inattentive clerk at the gas station. We have to be polite to everyone but we love each other so much we feel comfortable NOT behaving politely with each other.

Isn’t that somehow WRONG? Shouldn’t the niceness, the kindness, the smiles and respect and politeness be for those we love? For each other?

It should. It truly should.

But on the other hand…
we all need a place to vent, to be ourselves, to let our real feelings show and to NOT have to “behave”.
And where else can you do that besides with the folks you love? (Ok, online groups are a great place to vent and stir up shit just to get your aggravation out but, eventually, they kick you out)

So it’s this kind of vicious circle of loving each other but treating each other like crappola half the time and then spending the other half the time trying to not be pissed off cuz yer parner’s been a jack ass all day. :O Like some mad fucking spirograph design someone titled “life”.

I will definitely say it’s a damned good thing our relationship is so strong, that we understand each other so well and that the love is so blatantly obvious even when we’re snarling cuz even when things are bad they’re pretty darned good.

That doesn’t make life any less irksome sometimes but it sure makes irksome easier to deal with.

And that is my ramble for the month. Lol. With so many blogs and such hours at work I’ve found I’m just NOT very good at keeping up with them all.

~peace