i do get it. i think part of the challenge of this kind of relationship is that it puts the s-type in a position of constantly questioning their value. we’re trying to *serve* them for chrissakes, and when we’re not meeting their needs it’s a blow to our self-worth. just the nature of it, i think.

our society puts our ability to “turn them on”, and meet their sexual needs, as one of the highest “values” we can provide. when they want someone else (also, in addition to, or instead of – i’m not sure it matters which) it can feel like we’re not worth nearly as much. personally, i’ve managed to transmute this whole thing into something i call “emotional masochism”, and then (big shock) get off on it. so it ends up having great value to me.

sounds like your relationship is pretty damned strong. try the transmuting thing – it can work. ;)

If there is one thing I have figured out in this journey is that not to compromise your morals and ethics, but be open minded. I have done it once, I will never do it again. A hard limit dropped on my end was the end of my relationship and it couldn’t be regained.

I wish you the best of luck, and look forward to hearing more… and of course, as always if you need an ear, I am always around…

orchid