I’m sitting outside on my balcony.

Yes, in November.  Remember when Taylor put up that awning for me and built me in a desk?  As Fall approached, we also closed the space in.  We used that window plastic stuff, a layer inside and out, so I can still completely see out and get any sunlight that is available but am also protected from the rain, wind and, to a degree, the cold.  We picked up a small radiator heater that keeps the area comfortably warm and, even when it’s particularly chilly, I can just wrap up in a fuzzy blankey and I still sit out here and do my thing.

It’s the oddest feeling – like being outdoors but in.  It’s secluded and quiet but feels different than being shut up in the bedroom would and gives me way more privacy and peace than being in the living room would.

I have apple cider and vanilla candles burning, the little heater running, a cuddly blanket in my lap, sex toys all over my desk (pending review), a mug of Kona coffee with egg nog creamer on a warmer next to me (a candle warmer. they work better than regular coffee mug warmers!) and a kitty curled up at my feet.

The dogs are sleeping inside, Taylor is napping in the bedroom, That Teen is off hanging with friends, my neighborhood is quiet other than a few kids out playing a few blocks over and someone doing some yard work across the way and I?  I am feeling content.

Of course, I also refilled my Ambien prescription the other day and have had three full, good nights sleep.  I feel refreshed and less on edge.

Not being able to sleep really messes me up.  When I was a housemouse it didn’t bother me.  I didn’t have to do anything that required a whole lot of focus, you know?  I could sleep a bit later if I needed to or take a nap if I was really bad.  I actually enjoy the wee hours best of all and liked being up late, surrounded by darkness and silence.  But when I am working, when I have to maintain a schedule, when I have to focus and use my brain and function like a “normal” person, the insomnia, the late nights, the broken sleep all run me down and put me seriously on edge.

Sleep is good and I am grateful to have gotten some.

Life, otherwise, is normal.  Good.  Some days great.  The Holidays are coming and that makes me happy.  I like Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.

I am not looking forward to the time after that, though.  The bleak, gloomy time between New Years and Spring.  It stretches on so endlessly, mind numbingly, until you’re quite sure you’ll go mad and that a few months cannot possibly last this long and you’ll never feel warm sunshine on your neck again.

Winter in Wisconsin is long and gray and, once the excitement of the first few snowfalls subsides, biting and boring and inconvenient.

Look at me, already wishing for Spring.

We’re actually supposed to possibly get some snow for Thanksgiving weekend.  Not that the weather forecast for that far out is accurate but, still…

We’d best tuck the bike in for winter soon.

And now it is time to make a fresh cup of coffee and plod on thru some reviews.

I have…

…far too many things piled up, some that have been sitting here waiting to be spoken of for almost a year.  I need to get my but in gear!