The Cost of Change

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for.” ~Epicurus

I think, sometimes, this is what people most forget…

We tend to want everything – every want, need and desire to be met all at the same time. We work hard to get wherever we are in life, to get where we want to be – and then we want more.
And I realize that this is normal, that’s it’s even healthy to always continue to strive for more, to improve ourselves instead of getting complacent. But at the same time I get disgusted when I see people who have things and a life that should make them happy, but instead the things and life they wanted become valueless in their striving for more and more and more.
Shouldn’t there come a point where we say “This is good. This is what I wanted and I am happy. More would be okay but if I never get more what I have is GOOD” ?
Why do people not realize that, often, in order to have more you end up having to give up some of what you have? The box is only so big. When it’s full – and you still want more – you have to get rid of something, make some room. Amd that’s ok, if you’ve outgrown things or have changed and no longer need them…
But when you strive to have it ALL, to jam everything into the box…
stuff inevitably falls out and gets lost…
and later…
you wonder where it went when you go looking for it.
At least when we set things aside in our quest for more or better we know where they went, we voluntarily got rid of them. We made a choice based on reason and logic – or on emotion and feeling – or whatever. But we’ve made a choice.

I don’t know if I’m making sense.

When Taylor and I got together I had to take some stuff out of the box to make room for him in my life. And I was okay with that – with getting rid of old, stale ways of life and half baked wishes. I was even okay with getting rid of some more important things (like an orderly, routine life. Lol) because I knew that adding him to my life would make it better, that it was worth getting rid of some things. Now I’m happy. Things aren’t always perfect and not every want, need or desire gets met – but what I have is GOOD. I couldn’t have the old way and the present way at the same time. Just like I can’t have some of the new things I’d like to have and still have my present life. It just doesn’t work that way. I had to chose what was most important and stick with it, be satisified with having most of what I want. (Cuz, yanno, Taylor is NEVER going to learn to pick up his own socks or stop hitting his computer when it fucks up)

Sometimes life just changes and we have to decide – have what we already have and be happy with it or have something more or new and accept the loss of what we had.
When we want more – we’re GOING to give up some of what we have. We can’t have it all. Not for extended periods, anyhow. Life only seems perfectly, heavenly, absolutely, one hundred percent right for very short increments, small moments that we need to treasure rather than expect to be the norm.

The rest of the time it is what it is – a culmination of all the choices we’ve made; good, bad and ugly.

It’s the learning to let go of old ways that is so hard – that and the being happy with the choices we’ve made.

“Old times never come back and I suppose it’s just as well. What comes back is a new morning every day of the year – and that’s better.” ~George E. Woodberry